After 3 and a half year the burden cast upon me finally lessens. And lessen it did. In this very week I started receiving psychiatric treatment and everything seems to brighten.
I need to deliver more delicate objects. Ventures ahead it’s a brisk world. Transgression is a key in my life and understanding itself with my own senses is a lesson to be acquired. It is the year of revelation.
To whom it may concern I am mailing your share of portfolio books on Jan. 1st, and the 2010 book will be sent around March again to you all with no additional fee for I feel some work in the old one were inadequate.
—
Met Dad for the first time in 3 years straight today. And 2008 was like a distant memory. H (codename) reassured that I am neuter therefore not a homosexual and Dad is very interested in buying a feminine watch for me when I politely refused his giving me a digital watch citing that I seldom wear one, possessing a cell phone already.
So to set things straight I am likely to be diagnosed with GID which stands for Gender Identity Disorder. “Disorder” is a rather harsh word emotionally but is in itself reasonably sound. I love boys while possessing a biological male body, which stands for homosexuality in a broader sensed glimpse; the criteria for GID is, however, actually all about one’s inner representation and understanding of her own sex, and is not that related to the enclosing body itself. — cp. DSM IV.
We really need a neuter third person pronoun here. We need that pronoun badly. It is extremely unpleasing not having one in English, equally irritating to find that the more neutral one in Chinese actually is not so bivalent (it is oft male-inclined) whenever the feminine-inclined one is a standalone. We need a context-free world, in a more radical sense; but putting it mundanely shall we change perspectives, there is a need of mutual understanding whose demand stems from fear, uncertainty, doubt and distrust.
—
Also visited my old high school today. It is surely resourceful in a narrow sense (they really know their words, but beyond that I don’t see much), whilst I now deem time spent there inappropriate, if I haven’t met H and a handful bunch of interesting people. Being burdened, anti-social and pessimistic my first year there was spent learn Latin, which then taught me how most languages work.
A little maneuver assured me a passport that carries a good Latinized name instead of a transliteration. (Names need to be localized, transliteration is the emblem of ultimate laziness and utmost incompetence.) I shall digress and explain — according to our much-mocked government and its notorious Nationality law each person is assigned a difficult-to-change name (not being a criminal nor a duplicate, your name could be changed at most once in the lifetime). Most people get a transliterated name as their “English Name” on their passports for that their parents did not come up with a good Latinized name while filing for their birth. They are screwed.
Laws are to be meticulously and politely broken, and opposed when they do not make sense — and my opposition in this case was thru legally valid maneuvering. A person of Taiwanese origin, that was born on Taiwan, could get a passport bearing a different Latinized name than a simple, funky transliteration if she could provide either: a. a birth certificate bearing the new name; b. a scholarly ID issued by a (public or accredited private) school; c. a foreign passport or other IDs issued by the government body that claims Taiwan, or a government body that is accredited within the aforementioned government body’s regulations; or d. a certificate issued by an overseas Chinese group (this is vague.)
Implementation omitted. This is however pathetic, ugly, dangerous but absolutely necessary for a better tomorrow. Misdemeanor it seems, never try this without through planning.
—
Visited Ökogreen and Youth today, meeting a career companion. The youngsters at Youth are really outstanding for they could communicate in English with relative ease(Nota: honestly, that stands for “oh dear, it’s very interesting [but I am absolutely not interested in that]” [sic([k])] in inter-personal lingo) but talking to a customer while chewing gun is really not a very good habit. Paid them to apply matte film on my MacBook and my eyes are happy again now:
“I have never seen such eye strain, what may be the cause?”
“I code for 2 hours every day, read documentation for an additional 2, draw for another 4, and then I have sketches and more mock-ups to do…”
“I’m gluing your eyes shut.”
Also spent time looking at the new 27” iMac — a pretty sexy machine with apparent flaw: the glare. Youth also doesn’t have Xcode or any other dev tools installed on showcased Macs, which is not very good.
The MacBook Air has a pathetic screen which ruins the point of having a thin machine. I am the kind of person who asks for a pro-grade panel from a pro-grade laptop…
—
The next thing I am fighting against is the auto-satirical, impersonate, counter-productive, vile and monstrous Military Drafting law which literally calls every person who happen to carry a male sex organ one or a few years away from her sane and productive life, then tortures and destroys the person, both bodily and spiritually, to great extent so they make perfect stupid, irrational, and obedient “citizens” with a process that’s so harsh that some slaves under that considered it a good practice, such opinion often expressed guiltily and groundlessly with a grain of faked prodigious masculinity.
I have already witnessed the withering of several personae of intelligent mind, and will never devote myself to such collective governmental crime. There are fine lines between a government, the people, a nation and a state which our politicians tend to forget, and our fellow people on Taiwan tend to oversee. Never, ever, forget that this law is made before the now-powerful government-in-exile-still (Lee’s reform is remarkable but inadequate, Chen and Ma simply made things worse in a big way), which owns it and claims sovereignty over Taiwanese people, ever came to Taiwan. There is ambiguity and people who succumb dies silently. I want to die a loud death if there must be.
However thanks to its existence I finally am facing my true self. There is always fortune lying inside every unfortunate incident and I now often think this way. Fortuna imperatrix mundi. Let’s see what turns up in a few months.
—
Life is struggle and there must be reasons for this. The human mind is always looking for solutions, and once they’re found other questions are quickly asked.
See http://tuber.monoceroi.com for more information. Tuber lets you watch six videos simultaneously, but hackers can easily give it a twist. (hint: change tbConfig.dimensions, then hit tbActions.init(); to see as many videos as you would, if you have a giant display.)
I do feel like Leeloo while playing with this.
Next stop: a photostream visualizer that actually tells stories. This is quite difficult and may take a long time.
—
Nota
The breeze that kisses my face in 4 a.m. visits paid to the streets around the habitat feels yet so cruel that I can see Neil (cp. Mysterious Skin) staring back in the reflection.
Feeling flat, I am well.
Those which are truly exciting does not actively arouse a wave before they came.
Same principle applies to the Cloud App, presumably the highest hyped and most disappointing Mac application of the year. Private betas were sent out delayed by an entire month, and when the second patch of 200 beta-testers were invited after the initial 1000 (add 2 more weeks) their infrastructure still isn’t finished.
“How do I access the files in the cloud and zap the ones no longer desirable?” One developer asked. “Hi, we’re working on this, ” a voice came from the cloud. True story from the vine.
Heck, Dropbox rules. And if you were going to show, show a finished product. Premature debut still is a debut, and people remember every debut fondly. Debuting in an unfinished fashion, Cloud is in hot water.
Let me digress and introduce some ideas presented in Agile Web Development and Joel’s advice on showing betas to customers (The Iceberg Secret). Show a finished mockup and people think your software rocks, even before you’ve written a single line of code. Show a sketch, and people understand that it’s only a sketch.
Instead of fixing their product, they are bashing a desperado who happened to like their blog layout so much that he stole the entire .css file. Dear, why the hell do you have to add a :before tag instead of simply renaming the file? And have I mentioned that its icon closely resembles MobileMe’s?
Cloud is dubbed every Mac user’s wet dream. My empirical, personal results say that a single programmer’s quote, or a line of overset text would ruin an entire wet dream . It is like playing in a theatre: everything must go in the right direction, and the slightest glitch would ruin the show. I quit playing in the Cloud after five minutes of initial use. Dear Cloud, please give me an opportunity to even love you.
. It is like playing in a theatre: everything must go in the right direction, and the slightest glitch would ruin the show. I quit playing in the Cloud after five minutes of initial use. Dear Cloud, please give me an opportunity to even love you.